Breathing Lessons...Monique's Review

I finished February this weekend--finally. Also, I bought April's book, and I'm about 50 pages into March. Yay for me!

So, Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler. It took me about 100 pages or more to really get into the book. Overall, I enjoyed it. I actually cried at the end of the book, as it was a revelation of sorts.

I went into the book thinking it was about marriage, but it was about marriage, family, children. I found that much of the book resonated my own personal experiences. I found myself thinking of my first marriage and how it just was destined to fail. I found myself wondering if monogamy is really natural. At one point in the book, the main character says that she fell in love with her husband again, which was "convenient." I guess that's really what it's all about: falling in love again, and hoping it's with the person you married.

The book made me cry because it hit home with some themes I've been wrestling with in my own life lately. The main character, Maggie, wants so badly for everyone to be happy. She engineers these moments and tries to engineer relationships and it never works. It always just causes more trouble. It's not malicious--she truly just wants everyone to be happy. She wants to have this great happy family with these happy family moments.

It hit home and hard. When I was little, my family was not a happy family. We still aren't. I don't really think that my brothers like me, or each other, and I'm not sure my parents really like us all that much either. As a girl, I would watch movies with big, happy families and I just wanted that so much. I wanted big family gatherings where the families played games, and talked and had family traditions and stayed up late talking and having family talent shows. I wanted a family with a cabin in Vermont and that met there every Christmas and sat around the fire laughing and drinking cocoa. I wanted a big Italian family that got together every Sunday and had huge weddings. In my head, I imagine my family get togethers will be the same. A couple years ago, I had this elaborately planned Christmas. I took time off work so that I could do the necessary cooking and cleaning and baking. Well, my brother and his wife went to California and my other brother could not have cared less and barely showed up. My parents don't live in town and it's just not a priority for them. I was crushed. Really.
And I do it every freaking holiday. I write menus. I plan games. And it never happens. When my family does get together, some of us don't even talk to each other and it's awkward and pointless. And every single time, I'm crushed. Steve has gotten to the point where he just dreads it because he knows I will sink into some weird holiday related depression and either be a raving bitch or a crying mess.

So, Maggie's elaborate stories and plans just made me sad all over again.

The book was also about miscommunication and how we think we are telling our spouse something, and they interpret it as another and it's just a horrible cycle. This is obviously why so many marriages fail, and a problem that causes marriage counselors to stay in business.

Overall, I enjoyed it. It wasn't the best book I've ever read, but it was a quick read.

Steve will probably never post his review.